"XXX2: The Next Level"
Reviewed by Steve Malkoun
The short overview of the film would be: Bang, bang, bang . . . bad dialogue . . . bang, bang, bang . . . power nap . . . bang, bang, bang . . . "I'll kill you" . . . and nauseam. The end!
For those who require the full autopsy, here's the extended version. If the 2002 original is only marginally ridiculous, then the sequel is positively absurd. The tagline: 'The Next Level' is wholly appropriate. XXX 2 takes everything to the next level: the corny dialogue, the impossible stunts, the outlandish plot, the bad computer graphics, the pathetic acting and the ever growing body count. Whether by design or accident XXX 2: The Next Level is so over the top as to be either brilliant or dumb, depending on your point of view.
It has to be assumed it was deliberately this ludicrous as the alternative is too depressing to contemplate. It's simply incomprehensible that Simon Kinberg didn't intentionally set out to write some of the most ridiculous dialogue ever committed to screen. Uttered from the snarling lips of Darius Stone (Ice Cube), lines like "I'm not feeling too patriotic these days" and "I was born looking guilty" only succeed in soliciting a laugh rather than imposing any desired menace.
Either Vin Diesel is prescient or lucky. Which ever, his decision to steer clear of both The Fast And The Furious and XXX sequels have, with hindsight, proven to be a wise one. In his absence, Ice Cube assumes the role of the new, updated Triple X agent, who's "more dangerous" and has "more attitude". Ice Cube by the way is in no shape to be a XXX agent - I should have auditioned for the role; at least my body is in better shape! I am still curious why they decided to go with him though - was he not recording an album at the time?
The decorated Special Ops soldier Stone has been languishing in military jail for nine years for striking an officer when he is sprung by veteran National Security Agency agent Gibbons (a returning Samuel L. Jackson). The NSA has got wind of a plot to overthrow the U.S. Government involving Secretary of Defence George Deckert (Willem Dafoe) and require the unique skills of Stone to help prevent the first coup d'état in U.S. history.
A plot this bold requires suitably audacious stunts and State of the Union certainly has its share and a budget to go with it. Whether it's the tank battle on board an aircraft carrier or a souped up car chasing a speeding train, the spectacular action sequences are to be admired for their invention while at the same time derided for their obvious fake ness. The extensive computer graphics look similar to a bad video game.
In one chase sequence, as Stone navigates a tricked out and vertigo-inducing pick-up truck down what appears a cul-de-sac with his pursuers close behind, he assures his fearful passengers, "There's no such thing as a dead end." Maybe not, but after this twaddle, it's hard to see where the XXX franchise goes from here.
out of 10
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